Automakers have a nasty habit of taking common words or phrases and distorting them when marketing needs arise. The coupe (coupé in France) is "historically defined" as a 2-door family car with a smaller passenger compartment than a sedan. To be precise, SAE standard J1100 defines a coupe as a fixed-roof automobile with less than 33 cubic feet (0.93 cubic meters) of rear interior volume. Anything larger with two doors is known as a 2-door sedan. Coupes have always had a certain swagger, inevitably looking somewhat sportier, and that's why manufacturers now apply the designation to 4-door and 5-door models in order to make them stand apart from ho-hum family cars. Such nonsense!

The latest example comes from BMW with its new X6. This is the company's first crossover, as the Boys From Bavaria stray even further from their Ultimate Driving Machine roots. Like all crossovers it is sensibly tall; just as sedans were until long-and-low became the mantra in the late 50's. Technology reigns superb in the "BMW X6" , which features a very sophisticated all-wheel-drive system that can apply power to, or brake, any wheel independently, thus saving the driver from disaster in turns taken too fast or on slippery surfaces. Of course the usual powerful sixes and eights are available. But here's the rub: BMW is referring to the X6 as a Sports Activity Coupe. Which is like claiming the "Airbus A380" is as sleek as an F-18.

Actually the A380 is sleeker than this toad, where the roof has been absurdly sloped at the rear for a coupe-like appearance. As a result rear-seat passengers need lessons in limbo dancing before they can gracefully crawl in. The X6 is, without question, the ugliest car ever to sneak out of Munich, though it pains me to say that, for I'm a BMW fan from the days when I owned one of the first 2002's sold in Manhattan. I'll excuse them on one thing, however. Long before the current corruption of the C-word, the UK's Rover took one of its elegant P5 4-door sedans, lowered the roof, and called it a coupe. At least that fake looked handsome, more than one can say for BMW's X6. (For BMW's response, "click here".)